Evening Guys :)
Hope you've all had a good day. A short post I think as i'm oh so tired and looking forward to my nice warm bed (oh yes, I've had my hot water bottle warming it up for about 20 minutes). Didn't really do that much today, ate breakfast AND dinner out of my new bowl... and let me tell you, it was awesome! Seriously, I sweat it tasted better, no jokes. Good old winnie the pooh, never fails. Thats my bowl btw -->Anyway, had school today so had to get up epically early so my mum could supervise breakfast and what not, which was ok (in that I get up pretty strangly early anyway) but my mum was just like "Eugh... God Maria, why do you make me get up so early?" and I was just a bit like, "Well actually... I don't. You just watch me coz thats what my doc said you had to do.". And it just sorta pissed me off y'know. Like, I don't want her to watch my every move so shw could at least not make a big thing outta it ? Argh, I dunno, i'm probs just being silly.
So yeah, woo it was a year ago today that the major snow days here happened, wow. That doesn't seem like a year, so much has happened but it seems like only yesterday! Not a great year.. but my point was that we had a light dusting of snow this morning whcih was cute coz it was like good old mother nature was letting us know she still remembered last year :)
Didn't do much at school, apart from eat (surprise surprise ^^). But I had my T appointment after, which was quite good. But she can be really unhelpful sometimes... like today we were discussing how much I have to gain and she was like "Well I think you look good now". I was just a bit like WTF? That is so totally NOT HELPFUL IN LIKE EVERY WAY! So now i'm wondering if I really should gain. I mean I thought 15 ish bmi was quite low (not my lowest but still not safe) but apaz I look fine so ... Grr she can really mess me up sometimes. I could just use some reassurances ? Ho hum, that's about it. Apart from my mum making me have one of her gross full fat ready meals for tea. Actually it isn't even that unhealthy and has pretty low-ish fat but still, the principle is all wrong. NO, thats ED talking. Shush up. I CAN eat ready meals and still be healthy (no repeat). haha i'm so odd.
Oh hoho, I almost forgot todays foodies. Well, in that it was pretty cold I thought I'd got for a nice bowl of oats -
I had Carrot cake oats - same as yesterday lol I really cba to write it all out again (needless to say I'm a bit of a samey person food-wise. I like my "safe" foods and I like my routines)
For lunch at school I had a Chicken and cucumber sandwich :) followed by some apple pieces with cottage cheese, almond butter and maple syrup.
Then dinner, the dreaded ready meal. Cottage pie, with some brocolli. (I had more than in the pic but it wouldn't all fit in the bowl :S)
Right, thats my day. Hope you enjoyed reading it. I shall update you on my life tomorrow :) Ooo... and I think i'm going to stray away from oats and have some eggs tomorrow morning. I KNOW.. pretty rad right ? Teehee. Night all.
Maria <3 xoxo
Therapists can be pretty dumb sometimes. I had one tell me that I didn't need to put pressure on myself to gain at a similar weight, and to eat lots of green leafy vegetables :P I didn't go and see HER again! You are right, a BMI of 15ish will lead to long term health problems like osteoporosis and organ damage. In the UK the way the system works means that people can get away with maintaining very low weights for years, decades even, without anyone trying to put them into hospital. But although that sounds safe, you don't get a full and happy life if you live as a chronic anorexic. Anorexia has a large genetic/biological component, and only full weight restoration can reverse the damage to your brain and body and protect you from multiple relapses. Obviously therapy is important too, but weight restoration is absolutely essential if you want to recover. Recovery is scary as hell, I just gained nearly 40lbs to get to a BMI of 20 and it is taking some getting used to, but I can tell you that it's absolutely worth it :)
ReplyDeleteYour therapist should know better than to have said that...BMI 15 is a dangerous place to be, and your mind and body will function much better at a healthier weight. Last year I gained about 20kg...the gaining process was horrible (I felt as if I was constantly eating), but I've never felt so alive and able to do stuff now that I'm at a healthy point.
ReplyDeleteRecovery is definitely worth the effort :-)
Sarah x