Yeah so nothing really to report, haven't been feeling to great lately, and not knowing my weight is really hard, i'm just getting used to the whole "once a week weigh-in" thing, even as IP I still got to know it twice a week! Arghh, it's so frustrating not knowing where i'm at. I really hope I won't have like massively gained. I know thats like a really stupid thought coz it'll only be water weight (I mean c'mon, no one gains REAL weight on 1500 kcal a day!) but there's still that stupid ED voice that just won't listen to reason. Anyways... I'm looking forward to tomorrow, going shopping with my mates :) I went a while back but at that point I was a) Ill and b) Extremely tired and worn out through lack of food. Hopefully tomorrow will be better though. Wooo... I'm thinking some lovely spending. Teehee :P
Oh yeah.. today's eats. Well for breakfast I was going to have carrot-cake oats. BUT I got downstairs and opened the fridge and DUN DUN DUN... we had no carrots!! Epic fail. So, I had to had a re-think. Now, for a normal person this would be fine, they'd just be like "no problem, I'll have it some other time". But not for me, oh no.
I'm not great with change on the best of days, and today it was early and I was already stressed about body image etc etc, meaning that ED just jumped at the chance to make me restrict. All I could think was how I couldn't have what I wanted so I wasn't going to eat. End of. Eugh... It took me a full 30 minutes of planning and bargaining with essentially myself to decide that actually I COULD have breakfast (even if it didn't have carrots lol). So yeah, I ended up having...
Blueberry Cake Oats :) Basically the same and carrot cake oats (still having them tomorrow tho yum yum) but with blueberries. ~ Old fashioned oatmeal cooked in soy milk, with blueberries, maple syrup and tsp almond butter. Oh and some "icing" of yogurt with a bit more maple syrup.
So, after an initial rocky start the day actually went quite well. Unfortunately I forget to take a picture of Lunch (and Dinner :O) but they were pretty nice as well. For lunch I had Spanish Omelette ~ Pepper, chicken, tomato, pea's and onion all served up on a lovely egg white omelette.
Then dinner, I had a Chicken-style roast (made with soya and seasonings)... with tomato and some more chicken. - Haha, chicken style roast and then chicken, Gosh how odd. Followed by Fruity Yogurt Mess ~ Greek yogurt, Cottage cheese, blueberries, grapes, maple syrup and some more almond butter :) Yum yum.
So all in all a pretty average day. But I shall be sure to take photos of my meals tomorrow (well I'll TRY and remember teehee :P ) Now, time for bed I think.
Night night
Maria xoxo
Hey
ReplyDeleteI am totally in the same boat (well...kind of). I really want to put on weight so much, but I can't actually physically make myself do it. I can't actually make myself self eat more than XXX amount and it's so annoying. I eat properly but I know it's not enough to actually put on any weight.
Good luck to you and hopefully I can make myself do it sooner rather than later
Keep posting!
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Sainsburys, epic fail and sectioning. I deduce that you are from the UK ;) I am as well - I'm also ten years older than you (oh the horror!) and in recovery from anorexia too. I was very ill last year but fully weight restored now (with no hospital involved thank goodness!) and doing a lot better. I just wanted to say hi and welcome to your new blog!
ReplyDeleteKatie x